The Work

The Work Of Byron Katie

by Meg Warden

How It Came To Be

Byron Katie, who is called Katie, was an ordinary woman who developed a deep depression over a period of 10 years. Then, one morning she had a life-changing realization. She noticed she had been thinking that her husband and children should be different than they were and when she believed that, she suffered. When she didn’t believe it, she felt peaceful. For the first time, she saw that she had been trying to find happiness by changing her external world instead of her inner world and she saw that this didn’t work. She then began to question every belief she held. As she did, she felt more and more peaceful and loving. Over the years that followed, she helped other people question their stressful beliefs and The Work was born. Now, Katie does The Work for free with thousands of people all over the world and she teaches people how to do the work for themselves.

To do The Work, Katie suggests that we write down our upsetting thoughts. When we put our thoughts on paper, we can work with them more easily. Below are some examples of thoughts I have had:

“There isn’t enough time for me to do what I want to do.”
“My supervisor should appreciate me more.”
“My husband should do more around the house.”
“People are rude in traffic.”
“I am too fat.”

Are any of these thoughts familiar? Do you notice that they are all stressful thoughts? What would it be like to live in a world without stressful thoughts? Well, The Work is a very simple system of inquiry that can dismantle our stressful thought system.

How To Do It

The Work consists of asking 4 questions and doing a Turn Around. (The Turn Around is just changing the original statement to another statement that may be truer.) Here are the 4 questions of The Work:

Is it true?
Can you absolutely know that it is true?
How do you react when you think that thought?
Who would you be without the thought?

Turn it around.

An Example

The following is an example of The Work, questioning the statement, “I need to people to like me.”

Question #1: Is it true?
Answer: Yes, that feels true.

Question #2: Can you absolutely know that it is true?
Answer: No, I can’t.

Question #3: How do you react when you think that thought?
Answer: I feel pressured. My breathing is shallow. I want to avoid people. I see other people as better than me. That feels depressing, like there is something wrong with me. I feel worried that people won’t like me and that feels familiar. Everything about this thought is stressful.

Question #4: Who would you be without the thought?
Answer: I feel lighter, more comfortable. I can breathe more deeply. I feel peaceful. When I imagine being with people, I can see myself at ease, just being myself, interested in them.

Turn it around?
Answer: I don’t need people to like me. That could be true. I might even be friendlier without that belief.

Is there another turn around?
Answer: I need people to not like me sometimes. That is what happens. It really is not my business whether or not people like me. That is their business. And, really it is impossible to be someone that everyone likes. That is just reality.

Katie would say, “When you argue with reality, you lose, but only 100% of the time.” Is there another turn around? Answer: I need to like me. That is the most true for me. It is my job.

When To Use It

The Work can be used anytime you have stressful thoughts. It is particularly helpful in dealing with thoughts about others. A Worksheet to help with this is available at Katie's website. (An expanded version of the Four Questions is also available there.) The Work can be used to question beliefs around all kinds of problems: addiction, illness,
abuse, professional problems, social issues, and even death. It can be used with any beliefs and concepts that cause suffering. As the Greek philosopher, Epictitus said, “We are disturbed, not by what happens to us, but by our thoughts about what happens.”

For more information about The Work, go to www.thework.com .


Home Hakomi Method Rubenfeld Synergy Method The Work of Byron Katie A Course in Miracles Meg Warden Sessions and Services	The Work Of Byron Katie by Meg Warden How It Came To Be Byron Katie, who is called Katie, was an ordinary woman who developed a deep depression over a period of 10 years. Then, one morning she had a life-changing realization. She noticed she had been thinking that her husband and children should be different than they were and when she believed that, she suffered. When she didn’t believe it, she felt peaceful. For the first time, she saw that she had been trying to find happiness by changing her external world instead of her inner world and she saw that this didn’t work. She then began to question every belief she held. As she did, she felt more and more peaceful and loving. Over the years that followed, she helped other people question their stressful beliefs and The Work was born. Now, Katie does The Work for free with thousands of people all over the world and she teaches people how to do the work for themselves. To do The Work, Katie suggests that we write down our upsetting thoughts. When we put our thoughts on paper, we can work with them more easily. Below are some examples of thoughts I have had: “There isn’t enough time for me to do what I want to do.” “My supervisor should appreciate me more.” “My husband should do more around the house.” “People are rude in traffic.” “I am too fat.” Are any of these thoughts familiar? Do you notice that they are all stressful thoughts? What would it be like to live in a world without stressful thoughts? Well, The Work is a very simple system of inquiry that can dismantle our stressful thought system. How To Do It The Work consists of asking 4 questions and doing a Turn Around. (The Turn Around is just changing the original statement to another statement that may be truer.) Here are the 4 questions of The Work: Is it true? Can you absolutely know that it is true? How do you react when you think that thought? Who would you be without the thought? Turn it around. An Example The following is an example of The Work, questioning the statement, “I need to people to like me.” Question #1: Is it true? Answer: Yes, that feels true. Question #2: Can you absolutely know that it is true? Answer: No, I can’t. Question #3: How do you react when you think that thought? Answer: I feel pressured. My breathing is shallow. I want to avoid people. I see other people as better than me. That feels depressing, like there is something wrong with me. I feel worried that people won’t like me and that feels familiar. Everything about this thought is stressful. Question #4: Who would you be without the thought? Answer: I feel lighter, more comfortable. I can breathe more deeply. I feel peaceful. When I imagine being with people, I can see myself at ease, just being myself, interested in them. Turn it around? Answer: I don’t need people to like me. That could be true. I might even be friendlier without that belief. Is there another turn around? Answer: I need people to not like me sometimes. That is what happens. It really is not my business whether or not people like me. That is their business. And, really it is impossible to be someone that everyone likes. That is just reality. Katie would say, “When you argue with reality, you lose, but only 100% of the time.” Is there another turn around? Answer: I need to like me. That is the most true for me. It is my job. When To Use It The Work can be used anytime you have stressful thoughts. It is particularly helpful in dealing with thoughts about others. A Worksheet to help with this is available at Katie's website. (An expanded version of the Four Questions is also available there.) The Work can be used to question beliefs around all kinds of problems: addiction, illness, abuse, professional problems, social issues, and even death. It can be used with any beliefs and concepts that cause suffering. As the Greek philosopher, Epictitus said, “We are disturbed, not by what happens to us, but by our thoughts about what happens.” For more information about The Work, go to www.thework.com .