Strategies Questionnaire

Strategies Questionnaire

by Meg Warden, CHT, CRS

(Copyright Meg Warden, 2006, all rights reserved)

With awareness of the limiting nature of unconscious character strategies, making them conscious is an essential part of growth. A trained Hakomi therapist can be valuable for this process, but each of us can notice our own character patterns in our daily lives. With awareness of these patterns, change and healing will occur more readily.

The following questionnaire highlights key elements of nine character strategies that are part of the Hakomi perspective. No one uses just one strategy style, most of us have two or three main ones, and some of us may use many of them. We are unique individuals, using whatever helps us manage our circumstances and make sense of our world.

Character strategies are constellations of beliefs, behaviors, and emotions that we use in an attempt to compensate for what was missing or to avoid the hurt we hold. They also give us an identity in the world. There is much more to each strategy than what is presented here, but this is a beginning. This questionnaire is a simple tool to facilitate your exploration of your own strategies and consider the potential benefits of doing some form of deep work, such as Hakomi Therapy.

Instructions

Each section below describes a different character strategy. Each section has 10 questions. Answer all of the questions using the following scale:

“0” for Never,
“1” for Rarely,
“2” for Occasionally,
“3” for Sometimes,
“4” for Frequently,
“5” for Always.

(If it helps, think of “0” as “no” and the numbers, 1-5, as “yes.” “1” is a very weak “yes” and “5” is a very strong “yes.”)

After you answer all the questions, total your points for each section. The sections with your highest points are the strategy styles you use most. You can read about the strengths, cores issues, and growth opportunities for each strategy by clicking on the titles of each section.

Strategy Style 1

Are you attracted to the abstract, mysticism or fantasy?
Do you tend to become very focused on mental activities?
Have people told you that you are too serious and too hard on yourself?
Are you cautious in your interactions with others?
Are intimacy and social situations difficult for you?
Do you tend to feel disconnected or not fully present in your body?
Do you believe there is something inherently wrong with you?
Does the world seem harsh or dangerous?
In groups, do you get quiet and feel like you don’t belong?
After being in groups, do you feel over-stimulated and need time alone to recover?

Strategy Style 2

Are you very sensitive and emotional?
Do you feel anxious and panicky?
Do you feel a compelling need for comfort and support from others?
Do relationships tend to be unsatisfying to you?
Does it seem like other people have treated you unfairly?
Is it hard for you to concentrate on one thing for very long?
Do you seek for immediate satisfactions in life?
Do you tend to talk more than other people?
Do you feel alone in the world, even when you have regular contact with others?
Does it seem like you feel alive only when life is very intense?

Strategy Style 3

Does it seem like no one supports you?
Are you sad and/or depressed?
Do you experience a sense of emptiness that you just can’t fill?
Do you long for connection and feel very lonely?
Are your relationships based on a hope for change that never happens?
Do you avoid feeling and expressing anger?
Do you feel like you will never be good enough?
Do you get jealous or feel unappreciated?
Does it feel like you need more reassurance than you ever get?
Do you crave for a perfect partner but believe you will never get what you need?

Strategy Style 4

Does it seem like there is no one there for you?
When you feel upset, do you tend to isolate yourself?
Do you avoid asking others for help?
Do you avoid appearing weak, needy, or vulnerable?
Do you feel uncomfortable with others who appear needy?
Do you avoid depending on others because they may let you down?
Do you feel tired but find it hard to rest?
Do you prefer hobbies that you can do alone?
Do you tend to seek approval from family members?
Does it seem like you are never satisfied with what you get?

Strategy Style 5

Are you dynamic, engaging, and strong, as compared to others?
Are you inclined to be a leader and believe your way is best?
Do you sometimes exaggerate your talents and abilities in order to make a good impression?
Are you afraid that people will use you if you let them?
Is it very hard for you to be vulnerable and show weakness?
Do you feel depressed when you are hurt, but try to hide it?
Do you feel aggressive or vindictive when you get angry?
Do you feel uncomfortable sharing deep feelings and find intimacy difficult?
Might you lie or cheat if you feel they are necessary for your success?
Might you resort to intimidation or threat in order to get what you want?

Strategy Style 6

Do you give a lot of attention to the feelings and needs of others?
Do you tend to neglect your own needs because you aren’t aware of them?
Do you habitually present a kind and loving image, even when you don’t feel kind and loving?
Do you tend to disguise your reactions if others won’t welcome them?
Is agreement and harmony very important to you?
Do you strive to get what you want by being friendly rather than being direct?
Does winning approval and gratitude from family and friends seem important to you?
Do you tend to feel empty in your relationships?
Is expressing anger very difficult for you?
Do you struggle with an empty feeling inside yourself?

Strategy Style 7

Do you tend to just endure a difficult situation rather than change it?
Do you feel stuck and unable to express yourself spontaneously?
Is it particularly difficult for you to express anger directly?
When you feel pressured by others, do you find yourself resisting and delaying?
Do you tend to believe you are unattractive or ineffective?
Do you tend to procrastinate and is it hard for you to make decisions?
Are you generally patient and agreeable?
Do you tend to be overly serious but really appreciate humor?
Is it hard for you to take criticism from others, yet you are very critical of yourself?
Have you loved people who were unloving or abusive and yet feel attached to them?

Strategy Style 8

Are you adventurous?
Are you competitive or motivated to accomplish goals?
Do you stay busy with projects and planning and feel like there is never enough time?
Are you tired but feel restless when you try to relax?
Are you always trying to improve and feel like nothing you do is quite good enough?
Have been described as a perfectionist or a workaholic?
Do you tend to be serious and detail oriented?
Does your sense of emotional control feel tenuous?
Do you feel disconnected from others and yearn for intimacy?
Do you tend to be unaware of deep and tender feelings?

Strategy Style 9

Do you like to wear bright or unique clothing?
Do you tend to be more emotional and expressive than other people?
Has it always felt like you need more attention than you are given?
Do your intimate relationships get very intense?
Do you feel compelled to let your loved ones know how much you need them?
Are you conflicted about being in relationship, feeling an emotional need yet wanting to be on your own?
Is it hard for you to be clear about what you need with yourself and others?
Is it easy for you to be sexy or seductive?
Do you feel lonely and disappointed in your life?
Does your life have a lot of ups and downs and get very complicated?

References:
Hakomi Training Manual, Hakomi Institute, Boulder, CO, 2002.

Kurtz, Ron, Body-centered Therapy: The Hakomi Method. Mendocino, CA: LifeRhythm, 1990.

Phil Del Prince, training lectures, Hakomi Training, Boulder, CO, 2002-2004.

David Knight, consultation and editing, Fort Collins, CO, 2006.